Being A Better Coach in Youth Sports
By admin | February 16, 2009
Parent Coach? Try to keep it all in perspective.
Being both a parent and a coach is a difficult balancing act. On one hand you have to be careful not to play favorites with your child or his friends. On the other hand you don’t want to be too hard on your own kid either. The best way to handle this balance is to make sure you have a real conversation with every player at every game or practice. Conversation builds relationships. You will have a healthier overall picture of the team’s attitude by talking with every player. This also builds the perception in your own child that your expectations are evenly distributed.
Resist the youth sports “machine”
Don’t get carried away by the hype machine that is youth sports today. When my son’s traveling soccer club got turned over to a competitive sports management company, they tried to phase out the parent-coaching program and raise the fees by 1000%. The families on our team and several others stuck together by demanding that an affordable, parent-coached alternative be maintained. Years later the recreational soccer league that originally chartered our team restored its traveling soccer program with parent coaches and affordable fees. This alternative allows athletes to participate in competitive sports without the high expense and potential burnout of more intensive programs.
Be a teacher, not a criticizer
Teach the sport you are coaching to the best of your ability. Get help in areas you don’t understand. Affirm your coaching with encouragement for the positives rather than criticizing what your athletes do wrong. Athletes need to make mistakes in order to learn. Sometimes mistakes are the only way an athlete learns the true consequences of doing something the wrong way. If you learn to accept this process, you will generally see children trying harder rather than quitting. Sometimes teammates with leadership abilities will do most of the coaching for you, especially on the playing field. You’ll see a remarkable enthusiasm in athletes you encourage and a depressing lack of joy in the kids and teams you habitually criticize.
Either watch or play the sport you’re coaching
Some of us get thrown into coaching sports we’ve never really played. That happened to me in coaching youth soccer, where my real playing experience ended in the 7th grade. I thought I knew what I was doing at first, then realized to my horror that I knew very little about how the dynamics of how positioning really worked. Thank God I had assistants and paid trainers who helped guide this process. I welcomed this help from other coaches who could nurture vital skills and knowledge in our players. I also always tried to find assistants who shared our general team philosophy on positive training.
Around the time my kids stopped playing soccer, I joined an adult soccer league and gained real appreciation for the effort my kids and their teammates had shown over the years. I wish it had been the other way around, that I had been able to play more before coaching. But there is only so much time in a day. I was not willing to participate in indoor soccer leagues with games that started at midnight! But even if you can’t play the game you coach, you should go watch a high school, college or pro sports team. You’ll gain from the experience.
Speak up at practices. Hold your tongue at games.
As a beginning coach, I always yelled at my kids on the field. Go here. Do this! No! Go there! It was a very hard habit to break, and I was never completely successful.
Well, Guess What? Almost none of that yelling during the game really works. You are much better off observing or taking notes during games, then going over it during practice than you are yelling at the kids to play right and do better. It took me ten years of coaching to learn how to shut up, take notes and coach for the following week. I did meet many coaches along the way who knew this secret. Their teams were always aware of the finer points of the game and played with thought and elegance.
It is important to make decisions during the game, for sure. Handle the substitutions and talk to kids on the sidelines about their play. But overall, your job is keeping the flow going, not to try to control every move by every player by yelling at them.
Save your breath again. Don’t yell at referees or umpires.
Yelling at referees is unethical and counterproductive to your teaching role as a coach. If you have a genuine and legitimate complaint that a referee has been shirking his or her duties, endangering the players with no-calls or other seemingly biased or irresponsible practices, use the system provided by most leagues to voice your concerns. Fill out the referee assessment card, or call the league office calmly a few days after a bad game and tell them what transpired. Some refs just have bad days, but some leagues have bad refs. Know the difference and how to handle it.
Bad sportsmanship hurts everyone.
Sometimes the other team can be a real pain in the neck. Some players use dirty tactics. Other teams bring fans that holler or threaten. I’ve even had an opposing coach follow me to my car after the game threatening to punch me out. I stood my ground, turned to face the man and said, “My family’s right here. You do know how out of line you are right now.” His anger instantly abated. He apologized and left. I still called the league office to inform them of the incident.
Some teams build a culture of bad sportsmanship around the confrontational personality of the coach. You can often tell right away when you’re facing a situation like this. I always tried to size up the atmosphere on the sidelines before sending my kids on the field. Bad apple teams often stand out right from the start.
If things do get ugly on the field or sidelines, it is best to pull your players aside and explain to them the reason they are there to compete. Encourage them to be extra good sports. If one or more of them is threatened physically or verbally you have the right (even the obligation) to pull them out of the situation–even if it means your whole team comes off the field. Calmly explain your position to the managing umpire or referee. It takes courage to stand your ground in the face of bad sportsmanship. But it is important to do so.
Think 10 years ahead.
10 years from now, you won’t remember most of the games you lost–got creamed, looked bad, played terrible, lost to your worst enemy or best friend. Lose. Lose. Lose. Win. Win. Win. In 10 years it’s all the same. When you lose, make some notes about what went wrong and address them at the next practice. Forget about the results of a losing game. Concentrate instead on the fundamentals of why your team played poorly. That’s the only thing that really matters to improvement. Then go home and get ready for the next game. You really won’t remember the loss in a week. At least you shouldn’t. The kids usually don’t, or else they’re laughing about it. It’s not necessarily good to let them screw around if they’re losing, but an occasional concession to being outclassed is understandable. One of our tall, normally gawky defenders decided to “cut up” and pull some fancy foot moves near the end of a 9-0 defeat against a premiere team in a tournament. By then it was an artful commentary on the fact that we had a lot of work to do. Was it going to kill us if they scored again? Not really. The levity made everyone play a little looser the last 10 minutes of the game. The other team never scored again. This is called “going with the flow.” It’s possible even in defeat.
Learn how to win
When you win it is easy to forget there are people watching you. There is nothing like victory to turn normally nice people into insensitive jerks. After any win, celebrate with class. Shake hands first. Thank the opponent for a good match. Then retreat to a place where the team can focus together on what went right. Talk happily, but quietly about your triumphs. Review the things that contributed to a good result. Also bring up things you can work on next time out. “We can always get better” is a more realistic and constructive perspective than “We’re the best.”
As a coach, be organized. Be consistent. Be reliable. Be happy.
Your first responsibility as a coach is to be organized so that you can better serve and advise the families whose children you are coaching. Make sure you have taken care of details like calling referees and confirming game site and times with the opposing coaches before you get in the car and travel to a game. This reduces undue stress so you can arrive at the game with a clear mind, not worried about issues that should be basic.
Once you are organized, be consistent. Stick by the plans you’ve drawn out even if they are not perfect. Set up a reasonable practice schedule and make the most of it. Be satisfied with this schedule and don’t switch things around all the time. Finally, be reliable in your coaching duties. Make a commitment to be there for the kids in every situation. Be a positive role model in your behavior, speech and conduct whenever possible. You’ll find you’re much happier and can accept results good and bad when you’re properly prepared and manage your own expectations of the coaching experience.
Ask for help, then gladly take what you get.
Do not try to do everything yourself! Many parents are willing to help if you ask them to do specific tasks. No one likes taking on nebulous or ill-defined responsibilities or doing all the dirty work. So spread the joy around. Ask a parent to help at practice each week. You may find an assistant coach. Never make assumptions or put artificial limits on other people’s abilities. Even people who do not “look” the role of a coach often want to help. Their own limitations may be the very reason their child is enrolled in sports, in hopes they can avoid weight gain or other challenges physical or behavioral. Some of the best assistant coaches I ever had were people who could not run from one end of the soccer field to the other. But they were there for the kids at every turn. That’s what’s important. The kids know it, too. Parents who aren’t all caught up in the youth sports mystique can add vital perspective in times of stress.
Laugh at mistakes. Sing in the car. Pull up a chair and watch. Carefully. And never rip your hat in two pieces.
The kids I coached love to tell the story about how I ripped my baseball cap in half one game. We had been playing badly to an absurd level. The refs were screwing up calls. Then one of my players got a red card for swearing when the opposing team scored a goal off a penalty kick. That’s when I ripped my hat in two and threw it on the ground. Everyone around me fell down laughing. As stupid as the situation was on the field, my behavior was even stupider. So laugh sometimes at your mistakes. Make notes of how to improve rather than screaming out your frustrations. Bring a chair to the game and sit down. Vow to say nothing except “go get ‘em” and “nice job” when kids go on and off the court or playing field. Learn self control. Demand it of yourself. Go to the game to learn rather than coach.
Once an opposing coach proposed we switch sides and coach each other’s team. So we did it! The kids at first were freaked out, but we all gained from the experience. I would like to tell you that the game ended in a tie, but my kids lost. But they enjoyed themselves.
There you have it. A coaching primer for anyone currently or soon to be a coach. May you know joy, peace and personal organization on the sideline.
Topics: Coaches Resource, Parent Resources | No Comments »
Uruly Parents: A Downside of Youth Sports
By admin | February 16, 2009
The problem of bad parent behavior has unfortunately become the norm in kids’ sports. There are countless examples of parent’s acting poorly, under the guise of trying to support their child in their sport.
Coaches at all levels, from little league tee-ball, up through high school varsity sports, report being inundated by unruly parents. They constantly find themselves justifying their coaching decisions and explaining why one kid got to play while another sat on the bench for part of the game. Coaches receive threatening phone calls and letters, are called names and are generally harassed by parents who disagree with them. Some actually have had things thrown at them from the sidelines during games. Parents will even go so far as to band together to create a negative smear campaign to try to oust the coach they don’t like. They contact other parents, administrators, school board members, athletic directors, and other community members, complaining about the coach and asking for his or her dismissal.
During sporting events rowdy parents take the game so seriously that they are known to keep score, even in the youth leagues where no official score is kept, clap when a child on the opposing team strikes out, and throw things at referees. And perhaps the most hurtful act of egregious behavior is when they hurl insults at the players during the game – they are children!
It is no wonder that according to Parade Magazine 70% of all kids abandon organized sports by age thirteen. It can’t be much fun to play when the stakes are so high and the pressure from parents is so great. Kids report that they are embarrassed when their parents cause a scene from the stands during a game or when they chew out the coach on their behalf. Furthermore, they often feel terrified to fail in front of their overzealous parents, so it’s easier to quit than fight what feels like a losing battle.
So, what went wrong? How did little league moms go from baking cookies for the coach and team members and cheering little Johnny on while he ran the bases – often in the wrong direction – to having fist fights in the bleachers? Some may argue that our whole society has become more driven by competition, so it is natural that it has trickled down to parental competition. This is probably true, but some other factors seem to also be at play here.
According to Athletic Insight, an online journal of sports psychology, parenting styles, in general, have shifted over the previous decades. Parents have come to believe that being a responsible parent means doing everything for their child, rather than teaching the child to do it for him/herself. Parents may think that by standing up to a coach or referee or even another parent, they are showing that they are committed to their son or daughter. Unfortunately, what they are really doing in most cases is embarrassing the child (and themselves) and, more importantly, they are teaching their child that throwing a public fit is an effective way to problem solve.
Other parents may be looking for the monetary payoff that comes with their child’s athletic achievement. College costs are soaring and parents see an athletic scholarship as the ticket to a free ride after high school and then maybe even into the pros. They believe that if they push their talented children, and fight for them when necessary, the scouts will come and their child will be recruited to the school of their choice and then if they keep doing well, they may even get a shot at the big time professional sports. The hard news for these parents is that fewer than 2% of all high school athletes earn a college scholarship and only one in thirteen thousand winds up going pro. Those are sobering facts for parents counting their child’s chickens.
High school students have a much better chance at financial success by earning an academic scholarship, getting a college degree and then finding a job in the profession of their choice. However, many parents seem to hang onto the belief that the easier or faster route to success for their child is through athletics.
And finally, there are simply a lot of parents out there who are trying to live out their own unfulfilled sports fantasies through their son or daughter. For whatever reason, they didn’t get the chance to reach the level of success they dreamed of, so they push their kid to get there instead, whether it’s the child’s dream or not.
Whatever the reason for bad parental behavior, the end result is always the same. The kids get hurt one way or another. They are either embarrassed or they suffer from pressure to do more than they might be capable of doing. Sadly, they often wind up taking cues from their parents and become difficult and uncoachable. If their parents only model poor behavior, how will they learn to be positive team players? How will they ever learn that playing a game is not just about winning, but about learning life lessons?
If you are worried that you are or could become a bad sports kid mom or dad, there is hope for you. Like in the twelve step programs, one of the first steps for enacting change is recognizing that there is a problem. If you are still reading this article, you are probably ready to make a change for the better for the sake of your child or children. Follow the tips and suggestions outlined below and you can become a great positive role model, not only for your child but for other parents struggling on the sidelines. And also, your kid will probably love having you come to his or her games!
Tips:
- Take a day off. Yes, it is important that you support your child’s athletic interests by going to the games, but you don’t need to go to practices too. Maybe when they’re little, you stay and watch them learn to kick the soccer ball around occasionally, but even keep your distance. Do not coach from the sidelines during practice and do not grill the coach afterwards. Additionally, if you need to miss an occasional game, it’s ok. You are teaching your child that some things come before sports and that’s normal. Finally, if your daughter is on the volleyball team and also on the school debate team, you must split your parental viewing time evenly between the two activities, so you show her that all activities are important, not just the sport.
- Let the coach be a coach. We all think we could do a better job, and maybe we could, but unless you are going to put your money where your mouth is and volunteer to be the coach, leave him or her alone. You will not agree with many decisions the coach will make and neither will your child, but these are life lessons. When your son is grown he will probably not agree with everything his boss says, but sometimes you just have to deal with it. Teach your child to abide by what the coach says, even if he doesn’t like it; he will learn how to respect authority, even when it does not seem fair. Only if a coach is doing something dangerous or morally wrong should you step in – and this should be done only by going through the proper administrative chain of command.
- It’s ok to fail. Failure is part of life. We cannot win every competition, get every job or promotion or ace every test. Sometimes we will fail, so kids must learn to actually believe the adage, “winning isn’t everything; it’s how you play the game.” According to the Sports Done Right web site, “75% of both males and females say they would rather play on a team with a losing record than sit on the bench of a winning team.” So, apparently, playing is more important to our young athletes than winning. Parents need to learn that winning is not the only reason kids play. Remember that they are learning life skills, like coping with loss and failure. If you look back on your own life, probably you could agree that you have learned more from your failures than your successes. When you ask your daughter how the game went, don’t ask who won first off. Ask if she had fun, if she learned anything, if she worked hard and then ask about the stats. Let her know that the whole picture is important, not just the final score.
- Get real. Again, only 2% of ALL high school athletes earn scholarships and only one in thirteen thousand will make the pros. It is nearly impossible that your child will get a scholarship or make the pros. It’s ok to dream big, but make it plan B. Plan A should include academic achievement. If parents today would spend as much time sideline coaching their kids in academics as they do on athletics, we would see a drastic increase in Ivy League school admissions. Academics must be a greater priority than athletics and not just so players can stay eligible, but because they must learn that the stuff in the books is as relevant as the stuff on the court. After all, you really cannot argue with the fact that being proficient in reading, writing and mathematics matters more after high school than winning the league basketball tourney. Think about the long range implications of how you prioritize your child’s academic and extracurricular activities.
- Keep it simple. Today kids are going way beyond the sports programs offered by local school districts by joining elite traveling teams. Experts advise against this, saying that forcing kids to specialize in only one sport too soon, will actually hinder their athletic development. Remember that Deion Sanders played in both the World Series and the Super Bowl. Star quarterback, Joe Montana was a star little league pitcher, and was offered a scholarship to play basketball before playing for the 49’ers. These amazing athletes were given the opportunity to test out a variety of sports before finding their true passion. Kids may find their favorites early, but encourage them to try other things too because they will learn different athletic skills from each sport, which will only help them develop as an athlete in the end. It will also prevent them from burning out on a sport by age thirteen.
- Follow the rules. It is great when parents support their kids, but do not throw a fit if your child gets in trouble at school or practice, causing him to have to miss a game. You may believe that your son is innocent, but even the best teenagers are prone to lie even when they are caught red handed doing something naughty. Again, you must teach your child that rules come first. You must let him suffer the consequences of his actions, even if that means missing the big game with the rival team this week. You must help him learn from the mistake, and not teach him that having a hissy in the principal’s office is the way to deal with his lapse in judgment. Kids make mistakes and it is up to the adults to show them how to handle those mistakes, so that they can cope in the real world someday.
- Lighten up. Let the kids have some fun. Remember how much fun you had with your friends when you were playing high school ball? It is called PLAYING a GAME for a reason. There is play, which denotes fun is involved and game means that is not real life. Sure, at the varsity level, the pressure is on to win, but before they get there teach your child that participating in sports is an enjoyable activity and they should have fun while they’re doing it. Have fun watching the games. Cheer wildly, but only say positive things – never negative. Clap and stomp and do the wave. Ignore the mistakes – they are young and still learning and are supposed to make mistakes. Buy pizza for the team after the game, even if they loose by a thousand points. Join the booster club, buy the trinkets the players have to sell to raise money for new uniforms, or sell burgers in the concession stand. Just try to have a little fun and chances are your child will too.
Many schools and athletic organizations have had to adopt policies to try to reign in unruly parents of athletes. Some have instituted a parent’s code of conduct where parents have to at least agree to behave properly. A
Florida
school system requires parents to take an online course on how to behave at athletic events. Still other schools appoint a parent ambassador to monitor parent actions during activities. And in
Maine
, a program called Sports Done Right has been instituted to help define and promote positive school athletic programs. If you think the problem at your child’s sporting events is bigger than you, suggest implementing some of these measures.
Every parent can do their part in creating a healthy environment for children to learn positive athletic ideals. It is up to the adults to model the behaviors we want to see in our children.
Topics: Coaches Resource, Parent Resources | No Comments »
Youth Sports Training
By admin | February 16, 2009
An Informed Approach to Sports Training
Athletes play competitive sports and participate in structured practices more than ever. Therefore, children lack free, unstructured play: pick-up games in the front yard, tag, riding their bike, and playing in the street with their dog. The lack of these unstructured activities undermines their athletic development, as they unconsciously learn important movements through these activities.
In England, sports administrators developed three stages of athletic development to guide the physical education of young athletes (Sports Cumbria). The three stages are Fundamentals, Training to Train and Training to Compete. Unfortunately, Americans increasingly ignore the first two stages and move directly to the third stage.
In the Fundamental Stage, “the focus is on the acquisition of basic motor skills, fitness and fun rather than on competition and winning.” Fundamental movement skills form the foundation of every sport; regardless of sport, all athletes require skills such as running, jumping, throwing, balance, agility, hand-eye coordination, etc. In this stage, sport specific skills are unimportant-it is the activity, creating an interest in physical activity that is most important.
The USA Today article is particularly disheartening in this stage, as games like tag or even chasing one’s dog develop skills professional athletes use in every game. In any game of tag, one evades the person who is “it.” While evading this person, kids juke right and left, change directions, duck and dive, back pedal, sprint, etc. When a child chases his dog, he quickly hops from side to side, stays in a low position, sprints short distances, etc. In some ways, these skills are learned better in this natural environment than in any drill a coach can construct. And, without these skills, one struggles in any sport.
Players in every sport require the same type of quick change of direction one uses in tag. A goalie coach often stands a short distance from the goalie and rolls the ball in different directions at quick intervals, requiring the goalie to dive to save the ball and quickly get up to save the next ball. A tennis coach uses the same type drill with players at the net, hitting quick volleys from side to side to get the tennis player moving quickly from side to side. A basketball player frequently does lane-line slides, sliding from lane-line to lane-line as quickly as possible. All these drills mimic the quick movements of tag, when one child moves quickly to evade the child who is “it.” And, the earlier the athlete learns these movements, the more natural they will feel.
Instead, young athletes (6-8 years old) play Little League baseball or youth soccer and spend a great deal of practice time standing around listening to an adult talk. Even in a Little League baseball game, an outfielder gets little to no action and bats only 3-4 times. There is very little activity, and the child develops few, if any of these important foundation movement skills, beyond hand-eye coordination. For younger players, playing many quick games of Pepper or other activities to improve player’s reaction times and quickness is more important for overall athletic development than playing one, long game of baseball. In the Fundamental Stage, winning a baseball game is not as important as the hand-eye coordination developed from throwing and catching a ball, or from hitting the baseball; the development of fundamental movement skills is most important in this stage; having fun and building a base for future sports participation and success should supercede all else.
In the Training to Train Stage, the major emphasis should be on the acquisition of basic skills and fitness…the emphasis should be on learning how to train and not on the outcome in terms of results or performance.” This stage is non-existent in the United States, as nine year olds compete for national championships. Sports Cumbria suggests training should comprise 75% of the schedule and competitions only 25%; however, in many youth sports leagues, teams practice approximately one hour for every two games, a number completely out of line with recommendations. A better balance is needed along with a greater emphasis on learning. Training should not merely be boring drill after drill, but should replicate the intensity of competition in a less competitive, nurturing environment.
This stage also should emphasize physical fitness and promote physical fitness activities throughout one’s lifetime. Therefore, practice time should be spent teaching basic biomechanical movements like proper running form, proper jumping and landing, proper throwing motion, proper squatting motion, proper lunging motion, etc. This is the forgotten stage; coaches, even at the youth level, are judged by their win-loss record or the organization of their team on the competitive field, not by the manner in which they run practices or the way they develop athletes for future success. Therefore, many coaches skip basic movement skills in favor of sport-specific techniques, hoping to win an extra game or look like a better coach.
However, an athlete will never be a successful athlete without the basic movement skills. A child who is bigger and stronger may dominate despite poor throwing mechanics, and thus coach and player are recognized as good, but eventually the poor throwing mechanics will catch up to the player, either in the form of injury or in lack of sustained development. The coach who teaches correct basic techniques may lose more games, but he has a far more positive impact in the long term development of his athletes and in pre-puberty teams, this should be the focus of all coaches.
In the Training to Compete Stage, athletes develop sport-specific skills and techniques. This includes “game strategy, tactics and individual conditioning programs.” This is the stage where most current youth athletics start and end. “At this final stage, all of the young athlete’s physical, technical, tactical and mental capacities are now fully established and the focus is on specific training to achieve optimum performance at key competitions and maintenance of the capacities needed to compete successfully.”
In today’s sports environment, training for optimum performance does not exist; players play year-round with no thought given to peaking or periodization. Players suffer an abundance of overuse injuries, an almost unheard of phenomenon a decade ago. Doctors, coaches, parents and players seek answers to the abundance of injuries like shin splints, plantar fasciitis and ACL tears which plague youth athletics, yet many somehow ignore the stress placed on joints and growing bones and muscles though year-round, repetitive sports activity.
In previous generations, athletes played two or three sports and summers were free for individual development or rest. Now, players specialize in one sport and play year-round. This has degenerative effects, as the repetitive nature of the activity causes the overuse injuries, and tired muscles and bodies are more prone to other injuries (ACL tears).
It is not until the athlete reaches this final stage, post-puberty, that the athlete should start to specialize in one sport. Many parents believe their child needs an early start to succeed. However, best estimates suggest that it takes seven years to reach excellence in a given activity. Whether playing the piano or playing basketball, skills are essentially developed after seven years of participation. By waiting to specialize, athletes develop better multi-lateral skills, creating better overall athleticism and giving the player a higher ceiling; players who specialize early and have less overall athleticism have a lower ceiling and peak earlier in their career.
Children are not miniature adults and they should not rain like pre-professionals. They need time to develop appropriate general athletic skills before sport-specific skills, and these skills are as easily developed in the front yard as in a competitive league. Coaches, parents and players need to work together to create a sensible, efficient training regimen to develop the player’s skills in each sport her/she plays, while also allowing the child to have a childhood.
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Pros and Cons of Coaching Your Kids
By admin | December 4, 2008
Coaching a child in sports is not for every parent. In fact, it’s not for most parents. While some parents and children enjoy the relationship that develops playing and practicing sports together, many children struggle needlessly with the challenges this situation presents.
Pros and Cons of Coaching Your Kids
One survey of fathers and sons in a parent-as-coach situation found a variety of perceived benefits, but just as many potential problems of this arrangement:
The Pros
The sons reported that they received more praise and more technical instruction, and they felt their fathers had a better understanding of their abilities than other coaches. They also liked spending quality time with their dads during games and practices.
The fathers reported pride in their sons’ achievements and enjoyed positive social interactions with the team and other parents. They enjoyed the opportunity to teach skills and values while spending quality time with their sons.
The Cons
On the other hand, the kids reported many negative emotional responses, including added pressure and expectations to win, and greater conflict at home. They also reported a lack of understanding and empathy from their fathers, more criticism for mistakes, and unfair behavior compared with that directed toward their teammates.
Amongst the negatives the fathers reported was the inability to easily separate being a coach from being a dad. They often placed greater expectations and pressure on their sons to succeed and said they showed favoritism toward their sons.
Tips for Parents Who Coach
Separate the Parent From the Coach
One of the biggest challenges a parent-coach faces is the inability to separate those two roles from one another. This can create confusion for the child. To master these roles, and live them independently, start by using environment as a cue for your behavior. You are a coach when on the field, and a parent when you are at home.
As a parent, your job is to provide unconditional love and support. Leave critiques of things that happened in practices and games behind, and try to talk about things other than the sport, such as school, friends, and hobbies.
Treat Your Child Fairly
When acting as the coach, it’s imperative to become more objective. Be fair and realistic about your child’s abilities, and avoid showing favoritism. In trying to do this, some parents go too far the other way and are overly tough on their children, which ultimately backfires. Unnecessarily pressuring any child can result in negative outcomes, including angry outbursts and hidden emotional turmoil.
Talk Openly With Your Child
Consider talking to your son or daughter about your interest in coaching the team. How does he or she feel about it? You may find that an open, honest conversation will make the coaching experience more rewarding for both of you.
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